We have been incorrectly taught to believe that sexuality says something about who a person is at their core and that is simply untrue. They deserved the mean words, the shame, the vitriol that came from the pulpit. The church has been and is wrong for how we have treated same gender loving and queer people because the church has been consistently wrong in its discussion of the relationship between God and sexuality. Both groups, LGBTQI Christians and single heterosexual Black women, were victims of the violent ideologies that suggested our flesh was incapable of goodness. But, according to this logic, I am an unrepentant sinner too. Other times laughing and encouraging the preacher to continue. Candice Marie Benbow I just sat there.
But we bought it. Single sisters wanted to go home to someone who loved them and our LGBTQI brothers and sisters wanted to be able to express their love outside their homes. Where is God in that? We reduced our brothers to nothing more than functional and when they served no purpose for us, they got what they deserved. Every time participating in the diminishing of humanity, my own included. We have been told that those unrepentant in sin will be judged harshly by God. And I sat there and looked at them. Young and single, this resonated with me. We have been incorrectly taught to believe that sexuality says something about who a person is at their core and that is simply untrue. I looked at them. And a part of me took joy in it because I believed that who they were was somehow keeping me from being who I could be. I am sex positive. What we did not realize was how the church refused to deal with our sexuality in its fullness and totality. I watched their embarrassment and their uncomfort. Both groups, LGBTQI Christians and single heterosexual Black women, were victims of the violent ideologies that suggested our flesh was incapable of goodness. I hate the years that I did not fully see that. We have created a litmus test to conflate holiness with behaviors and not equate it with character. I looked at their faces and their posture. Single mothers have long been dehumanized by church folk. Other times laughing and encouraging the preacher to continue. We have damned so many people to Hell- not because they have hurt us- but because they think and love differently. I have had people tell me that I am on a path to destruction because I dare to believe another report about who I am. If you think about it, who other than heterosexual male pastors has the church been kind to when their sexuality has been put on display? They saw gay and queer Black men as the reason the Black family was in disarray. Candice Marie Benbow I just sat there.
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