He gestured toward his wife and said, "She's the talker in our family. Lying down and covering his eyes helped him concentrate on what she was saying. My College English students learn to thoroughly understand their sources by writing a page paper on each source which: Summary, Analysis, Response Papers are a way to understand and think about what you read. While men tend to look at each other occasionally, avoiding the eye contact. While this article doesn't fully explain how a couple can actually achieve that effective cross-cultural communication, Tannen does give a few specific tips such as not assuming that your spouse isn't listening just because they don't give you the non-verbal cues you expect. Analogous to the physical alignment that women and men take in conversation is their topical alignment. In these times of resurgent ethnic conflicts, the world desperately needs cross-cultural understanding. This became clear when I studied videotapes made by psychologist Bruce Dorval of children and adults talking to their same-sex best friends.
Normally, he looks around the room, so he is easily distracted. A young woman in college was frustrated: As a matter of fact, we had experienced a miscommunication which was exactly the type Tannen describes. Whereas women reassure each other by implying, "You shouldn't feel bad because I've had similar experiences," men do so by implying, "You shouldn't feel bad because your problems aren't so bad. Men and Women in Conversation. Virginia has been a university English instructor for over 20 years. You know more people than me. This article was written for The Washington Post at the time of her book's publication and is a summary of her main ideas as well as an advertisement for her book. I'd love for you to add your response in the comments below. Sympathize by telling you a story of a similar problem Give you suggestions for how to solve the problem Just listen carefully and sympathetically Tell you not to worry about it so much, it isn't that bad. These papers can be assigned as part of a research project. Tannen argues communicating effectively is key for a long marriage. Using her own research and that of other psychologists and sociologists, Tannen outlines the idea that men and women are raised to communicate differently. Women's conversational habits are as frustrating to men as men's are to women. Evaluate the structure of the text and the techniques of argument the author has used and how well the article is written to persuade that audience. Tannen's research shows that men do bond, but it is by negotiating in a more competitive environment where listening for too long makes them feel they are put down, and where they share problems in order to have a friend give them solutions or to be reassured the problem isn't important. Deborah Tannen is a linguistics professor who is well known for writing popular books to explain how differences in communication styles can create problems in understanding one another. Generally, a linguist doesn't speak to a mass audience, and so Tannen's attempt to apply the discourse of linguistic studies to everyday life is a bit audacious, but her use of everyday examples, such as the talkative man at a dinner party who is silent at home, and the woman who feels her boyfriend is ignoring her when he lies down when she is speaking makes her work accessible to her intended audience, a typical married couple. Throughout the evening, one man had been particularly talkative, frequently offering ideas and anecdotes, while his wife sat silently beside him on the couch. This became clear when I studied videotapes made by psychologist Bruce Dorval of children and adults talking to their same-sex best friends. Little girls create and maintain friendships by exchanging secrets; similarly, women regard conversation as the cornerstone of friendship. When you share a problem with a friend, do you want them to: In my own research, complaints from women about their husbands most often focused not on tangible inequities such as having given up the chance for a career to accompany a husband to his, or doing far more than their share of daily life-support work like cleaning, cooking, social arrangements and errands. What is important is not the individual subjects that are discussed but the sense of closeness, of a life shared, that emerges when people tell their thoughts, feelings, and impressions. Evaluate what you think on this issue and relate it to your own experiences or other things you have read.
Video about sex lies conversations:
"Sex, Lies, and Conversation" By Deborah Tannen
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